Giving a eulogy is one of the most difficult and meaningful things you can be asked to do. You're grieving yourself, yet you're expected to stand up and find the right words.
Here are 7 practical tips to help you write and deliver a dignified eulogy.
When families find the courage to speak themselves, it moves a room far more than any polished performance ever could. You do not need to prove anything or live up to anyone. Focus on the person you are saying goodbye to. The rest will carry itself.
Margaret Pritchard
Tip 1: Give Yourself Permission to Be Imperfect
Before you put pen to paper, understand this: a eulogy doesn't need to be perfect. It needs to be sincere. The congregation aren't expecting poetry. They're expecting honesty and warmth.
If you stumble or your voice cracks, that's completely natural. It shows how much the person meant to you. No one will think less of you for it.
Tip 2: Gather Memories Before You Write
Don't try to write a finished eulogy straight away. Take a moment to collect your thoughts. What made this person who they were? What stories come up every Christmas, every family gathering? What did you personally treasure about them?
Practical tip: Jot everything down. Bullet points are fine. You'll shape the best bits into your eulogy later.
Have a chat with other family members and friends too. They'll often remind you of moments you'd forgotten.
Tip 3: Follow a Clear Structure
Even a eulogy needs shape. Without structure, you'll drift between thoughts and the speech will feel muddled.
Tried and tested structure:
- Introduction: Briefly say who you are and how you knew the person
- Their life: Touch on the milestones, values, and qualities that defined them
- Personal memories: Share 1 to 2 stories that show who they really were
- Their legacy: What did they leave behind? How did they shape your life?
- Farewell: Close with a personal goodbye, a favourite quote, or a word of thanks
Tip 4: Talk About the Person, Not Just the Facts
A chronological rundown of dates and achievements doesn't make a eulogy. The small, human stories do.
Example: Rather than "He was a devoted father," talk about the Saturday mornings he spent making a full English, badly, while singing along to the radio. Rather than "She was full of life," share the story everyone in the family knows by heart.
Laughter at a funeral isn't inappropriate. It's a celebration of a life well lived.
Tip 5: Use a Speech Generator to Get Started
When you're grieving, sitting down to write can feel impossible. The blank page becomes a wall.
A speech generator can take that first hurdle away. Answer a few questions about the person, your relationship, and your shared memories. In minutes, you'll have a compassionate, complete eulogy to work from. Adjust it, add your own stories, and make it yours.
It means you don't have to start from nothing during the hardest week of your life.
Tip 6: Keep It Focused
A eulogy should last 3 to 7 minutes. That's enough time to say what matters without exhausting the congregation. Longer eulogies lose their emotional power.
Practical test: Read it aloud and time yourself. Over 7 minutes? Look for passages you can tighten.
Less is almost always more. A few honest, well-chosen words carry far more weight than a lengthy address.
Tip 7: Master the Delivery
The delivery is the hardest part, emotionally. These tips will help:
- Practise aloud: Read through it at least 2 to 3 times. You'll learn where the emotional flashpoints are so you can brace yourself
- Print it large: 14pt font at minimum. If your eyes fill up, you'll still be able to read
- Go slowly: Take your time. Pauses are not awkward. They give everyone, including you, room to breathe
- Keep water close: A glass of water buys you a moment and helps a dry throat
- Have a backup reader: Ask a trusted person to step in if you can't continue. Simply knowing they're there is a huge relief
- It's okay to cry: Let it happen. Pause, breathe, and carry on when you're ready
Summary
Delivering a eulogy is one of the most honourable things you can do for someone. You don't need to be a polished speaker. You just need to be sincere. Collect your memories, find a structure, keep it focused, and practise. If you need help getting started, a speech generator can give you a solid foundation.
Everyone there will be grateful you had the courage to stand up and speak.